I spent five summers there. I did a lot of growing up there. I made lifelong friends there. I met my first girlfriend there. I learned the meaning of duty and responsibility there. I learned to be myself there. I experienced pure joy and deep suffering there. I got in touch with nature there. I discovered music there. I belonged there.
When they decided to sell the place, it was as though they had decided to pull our little piece of paradise right out from under our feet. Sure, they would find another place and give it the same name, but of course it would never be the same.
I recently went back to visit the old site. The ground bulldozed, the old buildings torn down, an enormous house built overlooking the lake. It'll never be the same, either.
The past is gone. There's no turning back. There's nothing to do but look forward and move on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4i1u57XeXGk
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
"Mr. Brightside" by The Killers
So I let her go, my cute freckled little pet. She had no quit in her, she held on for a long time after, but I let go. Eventually, finally, she had no choice but to let go too and move on. I was sure I was doing the right thing. Since then, I have wondered, but I was so sure of it then. I suppose it must have been the right thing to do if I was so sure of it in the moment. At the very least, I'm proud that I had the moral uprightness to be able to adhere so firmly to a decision made based on principle. (Do I still have that same moral uprightness today? I don't know.)
When she started seeing someone else, he asked me if it was okay. (He was a good friend. It's too bad he won't talk to me anymore, but that's another story.) I told him it was okay. And it was. It didn't bother me. I was happy for the both of them. But it only lasted a week. Then she came back.
Later on, she got together with another guy, and that was fine with me too. They asked for my approval and I gave it to them. That relationship lasted a few months, I think. She later told me it had been a mistake.
After a while, I decided, of course, that I wanted her back. But by then it was too late. She really was gone. I watched her jump from guy to guy, playing them all one off the other like pawns, learning to use her sexuality as a tool, or worse yet, as a weapon. Was I her ultimate target? Or just collateral damage?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGdGFtwCNBE
When she started seeing someone else, he asked me if it was okay. (He was a good friend. It's too bad he won't talk to me anymore, but that's another story.) I told him it was okay. And it was. It didn't bother me. I was happy for the both of them. But it only lasted a week. Then she came back.
Later on, she got together with another guy, and that was fine with me too. They asked for my approval and I gave it to them. That relationship lasted a few months, I think. She later told me it had been a mistake.
After a while, I decided, of course, that I wanted her back. But by then it was too late. She really was gone. I watched her jump from guy to guy, playing them all one off the other like pawns, learning to use her sexuality as a tool, or worse yet, as a weapon. Was I her ultimate target? Or just collateral damage?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGdGFtwCNBE
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